"The Blood People": On Horror Creeping in Netflix, With Nods to "Night of the Demons," "Primal," and the Awful "The Awakening"

So the other morning my five-year-old daughter wakes up and the first thing she says to me is, “People are made of blood.” She’s right, actually. And I kind of like the poetry of the line, although the way her eyeballs glowed an iridescent yellow was a bit disconcerting. I encapsulated her sentence into “The Blood People,” good title for a bad horror movie. Which is what Netflix has become for me: A zone where I creep around (a la Facebook ‘creeping’) and search for the worst horror movies (or close to worst) I can find, in the hopes of finding one in the So-Bad-It’s-Good category. Primal, Night of the Demons, and The Awakening come to mind, while Pelt doesn’t make the cut, in the category of So Bad It’s Just Bad. Primal and Night of the Demons play on the tried-and-true plot setup of horny college students turning into monsters and/or getting their just desserts by being ripped apart by said monsters/demons, and The Awakening (which, I must confess in the interests of “transparency,” I could not finish) is so goofy it’s likable: too-old (thirtysomething?) deadbeat slackers get invited to a rave by a sexy girl (read: demon) and end up battling a flurry of demons, awakened by the discovery of (you guessed it) an ancient Aztec amulet (alliterative, too), or perhaps an ancient omelette, I forget which. (Omelette horror? Now that would be different. “Those aren’t eggs you’re beating! They’re eyeballs!”)

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