The End Is Near: Drowning in the Gadget Hype

So I’m reading the morning papers and come across this little gem:
And what I’m thinking? It’s a phone! A tiny little gadget so we can all blab blab blab to each other, or worse yet, text our lives away. I suppose there is a greater waste of time than spending the precious hours of your life keyboarding unnecessary little messages to each other, but I can’t think of it at the moment. Recently some bs media spokesfool said, “Texting is the way we communicate now.” O God: The end is near. And I’m not a complete Luddite, though I sympathize with those who are. I can’t be, actually working in the world, and having a family. We broke down and got a cellphone after our daughter was born, in case “something happened” (Paranoia Age meets Gadget Fix). And I hate the cell, the way conversations overlap, cut out, and are overall grossly inferior to the old-fashioned landline phone. But it’s my main phone now, for better or worse. It works in the car! Great Caeser’s ghost. Such progress, I can’t contain myself.
I’m not immune to the hype: I almost ordered an iPad because, frankly, it sounds kind of cool. But then again, is it worth it? That’s for each of us to judge, and I decided no, for now at least. And for all the Gadget Age hype, most of my friends and my many students do not annoy me in the least with their cells, PDAs, etc. But the media constantly does, hyping Twitter until you wish the damn thing had never been invented, simply so we wouldn’t have to hear about it constantly.
I want to write an update of Apocalypse Now, only I won’t have any global warming or oil depletion or terrorism. No, it would just be a vision of a nation of  isolated souls texting each other about this brave new world of disassociation and virtual friendships.

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